Friday, July 5, 2013

PROCRASTINATION

I get busy... go into auto-mode... smooth sailing...
forgethow much Amberen is helping my body DO IT'S THING!
Why do I keep doubting this? 

But yesterday, as I was sorting my pills, my granddaughter asked, 
"Grammy, where are your Red & White, Fourth of July ones?

OH NO... I'm OUT OF AMBEREN!!

Then she adds.... wait for it...
"That explains why you are little bit GRUMPY again!"

WHO ME?  GRUMPY GRAMMY IS BACK?  NO WAY!
How can it be... it's only been... almost 4 weeks!!!  
What happened to JUNE?

I frantically searched my INBOX for the 35% coupon I'd received...
ahhh... there it is, safe and sound, and it EXPIRED LAST NIGHT!

Luckily they honored it... and my 90-day supply is on the way!
Ahhhh... I feel better already!

I knew I was out... just kept forgetting to order more...
PROCRASTINATING as usual...
Why do we DO THAT?
Maybe ELLEN has the answer for us:


HELP IS ON THE WAY GRUMPY GRAMMY!!  

And Please AMBEREN... can you add something to your formula that will help with PROCRASTINATION?

Call me...



Saturday, June 1, 2013

HOT FLASH CENTRAL!

This is a personal blog...not a SPONSORED blog.
Nobody is paying me, reimbursing me, encouraging me...
I am not receiving free products, or getting special discounts!

I will not lie to you... I will not sugar-coat things, 
So here's the truth...
I have been LOVING Amberen... I feel better than I have in years!

My moods have been on an even keel... smooth sailing... 
a Sumi-e art type of calm has invaded my being...

My sluggishness has subsided, 
my energy has returned... 
I feel like STREEPING again!
BUT... HELLO... HOT FLASH CENTRAL!
What the HELL is going on?
I have had a bazillion of them this month!

I live in a desert... but it is not Monsoon season! 
 It's only 13% humidity out there!
I can't open the windows at night, but our air conditioner is working.
There is NO REASON I should be MELTING!

I am just trying to cope... drink more water... take more showers... 
I just have one question for you:

I'll keep you posted!


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Spring Fever

I'm still plugging away... still waiting for that "feel like a woman" feeling to return...

It left quickly, but getting it back is such an uphill climb!
Spring Fever Blahs

I started a double dose today, hoping that will KICK me into gear.

Although I'm not LOSING any weight, at least I've stopped GAINING...jeez 


I was making so much headway... feeling so good... Before my fateful B R E A K.

Now I feel FOGGY... FRUMPY... TIRED... Just kind of  B L A H...


Could this be SPRING FEVER?

Monday, March 11, 2013

BREAK TIME IS OVER!!

OK... my month-long break is OVER OVER OVER...  
it has NOT been good.  In fact... it totally sucks.  
("Sad Slug," by Jamie Fales)

I feel like a slug... 
a sad, depressed little (huge) slug... 
AND I have gained 10 pounds this month.

Yes, you read that correctly:  TEN POUNDS!

I'm sleeping restlessly... 
the man in the chair is bugging me... 
and had a HOT FLASH a few minutes ago!

That's when it dawned on me... 
Apparently, my body is NOT READY to FLY... by ITSELF at least.
I hate this feeling. 
 If I didn't know better, I would think I had clinical depression!

I need to find out WHY, 
and IF we 
really NEED need these breaks, 
because I was doing so well...

I'll try again next year... IF EVER... 
or NEVER

Instead of Feeling like a WOMAN... 
 I am feeling kind of sad... Maudlin... meloncholy... self-pitying... sentimental... 
I need to find the nearest Music Millennium ... are they only in Portland?

Instead of singing Shania Twain, I'm humming the dark side of Joni Mitchell...

I think I'll light some candles... relax in the tub... 
and listen to a little Simon and Garfunkel... 


...but first I need to place my Amberen order... if I can summon up enough energy.
I probably missed the 25% sale... oh bother...

Don't call me... I'm taking a nap...


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Here a study, there a study, everywhere a study, study...

Here a study, there a study, everywhere a study, study...   
Too much meat causes colon cancer... not enough, you lose muscle mass... 
Sugar causes cancer, artificial sweeteners cause cancer... preservatives cause cancer!
My mother grew her own vegetables... walked three miles a day...
 got lots of sleep... drank red wine...
still died of colon cancer!
You can find data to support whatever side of whichever debate you are supporting...
But this one intrigues me...   
In a nutshell, they studied 60,000 women for 10 years.
The ones who suffered from "hot flushes" had less incidents of heart issues later on... 
If this is true - HOT DAMN!!
"Hot flashes will never be enjoyable, 
but perhaps these findings will make them more TOLERABLE!"

I'm on my AMBEREN BREAK now... 
expecting my hot flash friends to return any moment.

This is making me HOPE for them!  
Well sort of... 

I did love the SURGE of energy afterwards - 
I would just STRIP and kick into high gear!

Hate the Hot Flash... 
LOVE the POWER SURGE
If they really come with the benefit of less chance of a heart attack, well.... 
BRING 'EM ON BABY!

I've gained a few pounds on this Amberen "break" of mine... 
I've been told I need to drink more WATER.
Wait... does too much water cause cancer? 
'Don't tell anyone but I'm actually full of pineapple juice'
Drinking too much water can be bad for your health...   
They have GOT to be kidding...

Call me...


Friday, February 8, 2013

Taking a break... I am not afraid!

I have been advised to "take a break" from my beloved Amberen.
Nothing bad has happened... 
  It's because things are going so well!


Amberen's claim to fame, and the reason I chose it to begin with, was to help my body kick itself into gear!  
http://dailyhealthmantra.com/fitness/4-tips-kick-your-energy/
  I started my Amberen Adventure a year and four months ago.
I suppose it's time...

Last Time I took a BREAK - ME NO LIKIE!
 
Hopefully it will be different this time.

I'm
crossing my fingers!

So far so good... 
four whole hours without a hot flash or a tongue lashing... I will keep you posted!

I'm not afraid... 
But maybe the "man in the chair" should be!

I am thankful for the Amberen staff, who patiently discuss things with me, and for a doctor willing to LISTEN!  
Nobody should be ALONE going through this...
Listen to Tommy Boy - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  





Jeez... 
is it just me...


or does he still look mighty fine...  

Call me...






Thursday, January 10, 2013

Hop on the Amberen Bandwagon!

Had my "Annual" visit last week... 
(Does anyone else wear socks?)
I was VERY nervous, because last year it 
HURT LIKE HELL - 
My body wasn't producing estrogen... hence, 
tears of pain from this usually 
simple procedure.

This year... piece of cake... NO PAIN AT ALL!

"I think it's the Amberen I'm taking." 
Long pause... then my doctor looked up and asked,
"The WHAT?"

I just happened to have the box in my purse.   
She was puzzled by the "Proprietary Compound" - I am trying to get more details.   

In the meantime, I thought I'd share some of the other ingredients with you, my friends...
The full descriptions are all on their website - 
but here is a brief (or not-so-brief) synopsis:

AMMONIUM SUCCINATE:
"The succinate anion is derived from ammonium Succinate and, in this form, penetrates any biological membranes at the fastest rate"

... blah blah blah... The Succinate ANION?  What the heck?  All I see is the last sentence:  "can help the body cope with physical or psycho-emotional stress."



Next, CALCIUM DISUCCINATE:
"Calcium Disuccinate is the source of an easily absorbed calcium, which is vital for regulating myocardial contractility and formation of the bone tissue."

Simple Simon.
Calcium... bone tissue... 




We've all heard of this one, MONOSODIUM L-GLUTAMATE:
"Monosodium L-Glutamate is a salt of an amino acid, and functions as a neurotransmitter."  

Apparently the "L" means it is quite different from that found in Chinese Food!





Amino Acid found in a Comet!
OK... what about GLYCINE:
"Glycine is an amino acid, involved in the processes regulating brain cell activity. In combination with magnesium, it lowers the sensitivity of glutamate receptors and makes brain mitochondrion more resistant to hypoxia, which, in turn, results in the normalization of the psycho-emotional balance in the body."  

We know Amino Acids are essential to life, and found in soybeans but did you know Glycene has been found in outer space!?    


Let's try the next one
MAGNESIUM DISUCCINATE HYDRATE:
"...the source of an easily absorbed magnesium, which is essential for a healthy cardiovascular system."  


It says a few other things, but this is all we need to know:  Essential for Healthy Heart


What's next:
ZINC DIFUMARATE HYDRATE:
"...one of the sources of zinc and fumarate, which play an important role in energy metabolism. Zinc ions are  blah blah blah... until:  "This in turn contributes to the normalization of fat and carbohydrate metabolism and reduces the risk of diabetes."

Sounds good to me!   



Lastly, TOCOPHEROL ACETATE
"Vitamin E (in its form as Tocopherol Acetate) is a fat-soluble, natural antioxidant that prevents lipid peroxidation of cell membranes. Cell organelles and most importantly, the DNA contained in the nucleus, rely on the cell membrane to protect them. Antioxidant properties of tocopherol, supplemented by water-soluble succinate anions, promote the stabilization of membrane structure, as well as generic cell functions."




Tocopherol Acetate... sounds more like a fabric, doesn't it?

Apparently it's a form of Vitamin E... who knew...





All I know is it is WORKING... and my doctor is amazed.  

Maybe the medical community will actually get on the 
AMBEREN BANDWAGON soon!












Tuesday, October 30, 2012

TRICK or TREAT!


I AM STILL
CRAZY GRANDMA... 

BUT NO LONGER 
GRUMPY GRANDMA!


TRICK OR TREAT EVERYONE!
BE SAFE...

Monday, October 29, 2012

The TRUTH about the Wicked Witch of the West!


Having a grandmother named Dorothy, who was actually born in Kansas,
I have always had a special affinity with this movie...
and finally it all makes sense! 
Bea's Blabber Blogger 
tells the truth about the Wicked Witch of the West! 
According to Bea... she was not really a witch, 
but just a middle age woman going through Menopause!
Makes sense when you look at the evidence...

  • She doesn't really have green skin - it is a moisturing body mask for her dry, itchy skin!
  • You can't see her facial hair, but it's probably hidden under her green mask - and I'm sure that ugly mole pops out a nice bristly one each month!  
  • Her fingernails are dry... brittle and cracked...
  • She has feelings of dread... apprehension and doom.
  • Irritability and depression - who wouldn't be bitchy having to compete with Dorothy and Glinda?  
  • She doesn't seem to sleep at night - menopausal insomnia - why else would she be seeing flying monkeys?
  • Hot flashes and night sweats - she just FELT like she was melting!

So hold on tight to 
those Ruby Slippers... 
hang in there...
and follow the
 Yellow Brick Road 

The beautiful Idina Menzel
until you reach the 
other side...  
refreshed and renewed!
Keep your
sense of humor... 
and who knows...
maybe you'll 
end up with that cute scarecrow!



Monday, October 15, 2012

ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM!


A year has passed since I began this journey...

if I don't post as often, it's a good thing!

It means My Amberen Adventure 

is on CRUISE CONTROL...

Come ZOOM with me!



Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Pearls Pearls... Glorious Pearls...

I found something COOL (pun intended) I wanted to share... especially for those who are still suffering... 
or who live in a God-Forsaken desert like I do!

I wish I had them while I was working full-time.
We would be sitting in a meeting when I would feel that familiar feeling...
 tingling flush rising from my ankles... building... building... 
until it grew into a circuit board blowout, 
causing me to run like a banshee out of the conference room, 
drenched in sweat, in an uncontrollable, full-blown hot/flash/panic/attack!

My HOT FLASH/FLUSHES are under control - thanks to the Amberen Gods
but I DO live in a desert (not by choice) and could use these five months out of the year... 
Pearls Pearls... Glorious Pearls!  With a twist... 
Check these puppies out!

http://www.hotgirlspearls.com/

They come in assorted lengths and colors (white, pink, gun metal grey)... and are filled with a non-toxic cooling gel.  You keep them in the freezer, and when you  take them out and put them on... AHHHH

Kind of like Menopause Teething Rings!  
GENIUS IDEA!

Amberen should team up with this company,  and maybe give samples with our first full order...  is anyone listening?




I might try the bracelet... 
icy refreshment for your pulse point... 

They also sell this portable cooler to keep in your purse!














I appreciate that they call them HOT GIRL PEARLS
as opposed to HOT WOMEN or HOT LADIES... 
Doesn't the word GIRLS make you feel younger!? 

Hey... who else took Jazzercise back in the 80's?  
I used to used to stick my head and wristbands in the freezer before class... 
Why didn't I market that idea?

I SO wanted to be Olivia Newton John... 
COME ON GIRLS... Order your Amberen and Pearls... 
COOL DOWN and Let's GET PHYSICAL!


Olivia is still darling...  wonder if she takes Amberen?


PS - Hot Girls Pearls is on Facebook Now and is expanding into Bed Bath and Beyooooond!
Good for you Connie!  I adore you!
https://www.facebook.com/HotGirlsPearls

Sunday, July 29, 2012

That Pesky Inner Child


A few days ago I was at Michael's - 
in the back by the yarn,
chatting with another MCM
(Menopausal Crochet Maniac)
when all of a sudden I was DRENCHED!

I kept looking at my new friend... chatting away... expecting to see a trickle down her forehead as well... but there was none.  Which meant only one thing... 



and it was NOT a broken air-conditioner!
SHIT - I thought I was DONE with these!
I should never have experimented with my dosage!
Luckily, this arrived in my inbox... in the nick of time!  
They must have heard about the woman melting at Michael's...
From inbox to mailbox in three days...
Now that I have my new STASH - I can double-dose for a week or two - 
and kick that inner child out of the house!  
She is old enough to live on her own... buy her own car... pay her own bills!

Have her OWN HOT FLASHES!


Oh... and Happy Anniversary Amberen!
Maybe I should lobby for some free merchandise, in exchange for this free advertising!
Hmmm.... I'll have to noodle that...







Thursday, July 19, 2012

Hot Flash Alert - back to daily dose!


http://marvimarti.com/2012/01/17/hot-flashes-marriage-hell-no/

DANG.  
I had a couple HOT FLASHES this week!  
NOT GOOD.
  
OK... so I WAS cleaning and purging, and I KNOW this is Arizona, and we ARE in our humid  (it's all relative) Monsoon Season - but there is a definite difference - and these were the REAL DEAL! 

For those of you who can't relate, I would like to thank Marvi Marti for finding a cartoon which captures the ESSENCE!

I also have been feeling somewhat sluggish lately, and gained a couple pounds back.  So I'm going back to my daily dosage.  Hopefully that is the culprit.  I might even double up for a week or two to just to kick back into gear sooner.



I'm not sorry I tried the every other day experiment... now I KNOW.  
Drat - I missed the Fourth of July 15% sale... 
wonder if they will do it for Labor Day?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy Independence Day!


July 4, 2012

I had an unexpected vacation for the whole month of June - literally stranded in Portland and Orcas Island while waiting for my new (very old) car to be repaired... making sure it worked so I would make it, driving all the way home to Phoenix!  I am not complaining, mind you - I mean really... being STUCK on Orcas Island?  I am SOOO grateful I had a home to stay in (my Aunt Barb lives there) and was able to spend some much needed time with my daughter, who is working at a local resort for the summer... it was an absolutely fabulous experience... if you have to be stranded somewhere, I HIGHLY recommend it!

POINT BEING... I was still taking my AMBEREN, skipping Sundays.   But in the middle of June, I realized I hadn't brought enough of my pills with me - and took them every other day to make them last.  When I realized my trip was going to be much longer than anticipated, I had the rest of them shipped to me.  I didn't feel any different taking them every other day, and decided to start doing that on a regular basis this month.  

My moods are still on an even keel... 
the weight is peeling off a little bit at a time. 
I feel like my old womanly self more every day... and never want to give them up.  
But to save money and make them last a little longer, 
I will skip a couple more days each week... 
I'm such a cheapskate!  
Starting today, I will skip Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday... 
taking them Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday - 4 out of 7 days.
Good thing I got that silly Pill-Minder thingy - it's turning out to be quite handy after all! 

Oh... and by the way... 
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! 
 It takes on a whole new meaning this year... 
for while I am always grateful to live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave... 
this year I am also celebrating 
FREEDOM FROM HORMONAL MOOD ENTRAPMENT!  
©Russ Burden