Monday, October 30, 2017

I am... Crazy and Wonderful

So... in my other, more serious blog
I found this little exercise about writing poetry... 
and a couple inspiring examples from a 
young girl and her mommy.

It's all about WHO I AM... 

Think on that a minute or two... 
WHO ARE YOU?  

Now write a POEM about yourself!
Yeah, right...

Of course, in typical Debilicious fashion, I try to be silly...
(without wondering if I actually have Alzheimers!)



Then I try to be serious... 
this could be a beneficial exercise for me (US!)...

WHO AM I?

Well... I AM... A WIDOW
I get stuck after that.

 Let me think...  first of all: 



And at least for now:


And I have family and friends and a roof over my head!



Let's get serious sisters...

Copy and paste this guide.

Now, grab a cup of tea 
(herbal or saturated with caffeine - your pleasure)

Go find your journal and a pen (one that works)

Sit on your porch... and start writing!

Nobody will see it if you don't want them to...
On the other hand, what if you get published and become a
FAMOUS POET!

In the words of Judy Tenuta....
IT COULD HAPPEN!


Happy Halloween!  



Friday, September 15, 2017

OK here's the deal...

I'm on the OTHER SIDE of Menopause...
My HOT FLASHES are over... 
My MOOD SWINGS have leveled off...


"They" say I should be feeling physically and emotionally "CALM"... 
Well CALM, is one thing...
TIRED and SLUGGISH is another!

Plus, I don't feel so "womanly" anymore... 

The nurses on the hotline told me that AMBEREN is just for helping us get through the rough patches of menopause... 
but what would happen if I go back on it...
to feel more... you know...

There is nothing in Amberen that would be harmful to me... 
What is the worst that could happen?  

I get horny? 

I have more energy?

Oh to have Twyla Tharp's Energy!
I'm tempted to order it again...
maybe stay on it for the rest of my life!

I should talk to the nurses again, just to make sure...
But I sure would like to be singing this again!


Thursday, January 28, 2016

How do YOU spell RELIEF?

Pills arrived a week ago...
I thought it would take weeks to see a difference again, 
but it was almost immediate this time!


So... I'm still a little MAD... but no longer miserable!

Hot Flashes have subsided... 
mood swings are under control... 
my body was aching for them...



I have friends taking Bio-Identical Hormone treatments, and swear by them.  
They look and feel great, but SO DO I!
The difference is, I am allowing my body to kick ITSELF into gear!  

Thanks again AMBEREN... 

Ahhhh.... I feel sooooo much better!

I stole this photo from an Allergy Relief Page,
but it looks like how I FEEL now!

How do I spell RELIEF?
A.M.B.E.R.E.N.


Call me,



Friday, January 15, 2016

AMBEREN ALERT... They're Baaaaaaaack



Last Saturday I was backstage trying to figure out how to make more "flower heads" for a local children's production of 

I felt hot and grumpy, but blamed it on stress, noise, age, kids, and inadequate ventilation.
In the middle of a bitch session, I realized I was the only one complaining about the heat...

Then it hit me...


How could I not have recognized this?

Maybe because I have been so happily doing what I LOVE... caught up in sewing... surrounded by huggy children... covered in glitter and thread... avoiding the truth... 


 I called the Nurse Hotline and was reminded
"We recommend taking a break every so often, to see if the symptoms return."

So.... I'm accepting the facts... and my shipment is on its way.  
I will be  back on my
Amberen Adventure SOON!



In answer to the questions I asked myself last October:

1.  Will I have to take Amberen Forever?

Who knows... it's a definite possibility.

2.  Will my hot flashes return?

Apparently so... and in FULL FORCE!

3.  Will my skin shrivel up?

Well maybe not shrivel, but I DO feel dryer, kind of itchy...

4.  Will Paps hurt again?

Not sure - and I'm not taking that chance!

5.  Will I become a raving maniac?

YES YES and MORE YES!

My mood swings are swinging in full gear - and I have become... 

Alrighty - BREAK'S OVER - 


RELIEF is on the way and I CAN'T WAIT!!




Enjoy the musical interlude until "they" delete it....

Friday, October 9, 2015

IT'S BEEN A GREAT RIDE... when do I get off?




It's been a great ride... this AMBEREN ADVENTURE I've been on... 
but it might be time to get off.

I'm 61 now, and wonder... 
is it time to quit?
Do I take Amberen forever?
Will my hot flashes come back?
Will my skin shrivel up?
Will Paps hurt again?
Will I become a raving maniac?

ARGH.... somebody tell me what to do!  I thought when menopause was over, all the other stuff would be also... 
then I read this:

The Nurse on the Hot Line said:
"The only way to find out, is to STOP and see how you do."

Argh... been there, done that!

I only have a week's worth of pills left.  
Should I order more to have on hand, just in case?

I will keep you posted...  

In a few weeks weeks I may decide to get another Ticket to Ride!


P.S. Happy 75th Birthday Johnny Boy...




Sunday, February 15, 2015

H.E.P.P.P. - when it's MORE than just a HOT FLASH....

I don't usually share the same information on both of my blogs... 
but I felt this one deserves a DOUBLE DIP...


I hate Valentine's Day - but I LOVE Rosie O'Donnell!

Why do I love her?  She is HONEST - that's why.

Her HBO special was on last night. 
I laughed and cried as she spoke about her  
"Spawn of Satan" teenage children... 
her "Lipstick Lesbian" wife... 
and her latest adventure - a Heart Attack.

The kind of heart attack she had is called 
"THE WIDOW MAKER" - but she survived!

She believes the reason she is ALIVE 
is to use her "public voice" to share this information with us!

She thought she was just having a HOT FLASH... 
we need to help spread this around!!

Watch her whole special when you get a chance... 
Did you know that Heart Attacks kill more women than
ALL CANCERS COMBINED!? 

Here is a clip from "The View" 


Come on - SING WITH ME!

Get H.E.P.P.P!

Hot... Exhausted... Pain - Pale - Puke.... say what?

Thanks Rosie!
Call me...


Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Four and a half months later....

Although I HATE Valentine's Day, I DO LOVE the SALES,
$75 for 3 months of AMBEREN - I bought a 6-month supply!  

I forgot how much it helped with EVERYTHING until I was without it for so long... 
but FOUR & a HALF MONTHS?!?
I am unable to CONCENTRATE... My ANXIETY is through the roof... 
I have HOT FLASHES day and night...
My MOODS are SWINGING with a vengeance... have constant HEADACHES...
I DO NOT FEEL LIKE A WOMAN, thank you very much.
and you want to talk about SLEEP issues?


It all boils down to money money money... 
We just didn't have enough to splurge.
Somehow there is always enough for these: 

My AMBEREN shouldn't be considered SPLURGE!  
They are not a casino... or shoes... or yarn... 
they are NECESSARY for my well-being!!!!
WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER THAT?!!

It's not that I won't be MAD or SAD ever again...
but I will be able to DEAL with it...
Happy V-DAY to ME ME ME!






Thursday, October 3, 2013

She who HESITATES, FLASHES!


Why do we hesitate to spend money on ourselves?
Why do we forget we are WORTH IT?  
I cut my own hair... 
buy over-the-counter hair dye... 
throw a blanket on cat shredded furniture...

Why is it so hard to justify this AMBEREN purchase?  

The MAN IN THE CHAIR spends a GAZILLIION dollars a year on his diabetes... 
and don't get me started on his cigar addiction!!

I need to remind him that AMBEREN is the reason he is still ALIVE!
But I exaggerate... he really doesn't complain about it... I always just ASSUME he will!

Oh shit... was that a HOT FLASH?

Just order the damn pills already!
Then start writing to Obama about a possible Addendum...


Wouldn't THAT be nice!

Call me

Friday, July 5, 2013

PROCRASTINATION

I get busy... go into auto-mode... smooth sailing...
forgethow much Amberen is helping my body DO IT'S THING!
Why do I keep doubting this? 

But yesterday, as I was sorting my pills, my granddaughter asked, 
"Grammy, where are your Red & White, Fourth of July ones?

OH NO... I'm OUT OF AMBEREN!!

Then she adds.... wait for it...
"That explains why you are little bit GRUMPY again!"

WHO ME?  GRUMPY GRAMMY IS BACK?  NO WAY!
How can it be... it's only been... almost 4 weeks!!!  
What happened to JUNE?

I frantically searched my INBOX for the 35% coupon I'd received...
ahhh... there it is, safe and sound, and it EXPIRED LAST NIGHT!

Luckily they honored it... and my 90-day supply is on the way!
Ahhhh... I feel better already!

I knew I was out... just kept forgetting to order more...
PROCRASTINATING as usual...
Why do we DO THAT?
Maybe ELLEN has the answer for us:


HELP IS ON THE WAY GRUMPY GRAMMY!!  

And Please AMBEREN... can you add something to your formula that will help with PROCRASTINATION?

Call me...



Saturday, June 1, 2013

HOT FLASH CENTRAL!

This is a personal blog...not a SPONSORED blog.
Nobody is paying me, reimbursing me, encouraging me...
I am not receiving free products, or getting special discounts!

I will not lie to you... I will not sugar-coat things, 
So here's the truth...
I have been LOVING Amberen... I feel better than I have in years!

My moods have been on an even keel... smooth sailing... 
a Sumi-e art type of calm has invaded my being...

My sluggishness has subsided, 
my energy has returned... 
I feel like STREEPING again!
BUT... HELLO... HOT FLASH CENTRAL!
What the HELL is going on?
I have had a bazillion of them this month!

I live in a desert... but it is not Monsoon season! 
 It's only 13% humidity out there!
I can't open the windows at night, but our air conditioner is working.
There is NO REASON I should be MELTING!

I am just trying to cope... drink more water... take more showers... 
I just have one question for you:

I'll keep you posted!


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Spring Fever

I'm still plugging away... still waiting for that "feel like a woman" feeling to return...

It left quickly, but getting it back is such an uphill climb!
Spring Fever Blahs

I started a double dose today, hoping that will KICK me into gear.

Although I'm not LOSING any weight, at least I've stopped GAINING...jeez 


I was making so much headway... feeling so good... Before my fateful B R E A K.

Now I feel FOGGY... FRUMPY... TIRED... Just kind of  B L A H...


Could this be SPRING FEVER?

Monday, March 11, 2013

BREAK TIME IS OVER!!

OK... my month-long break is OVER OVER OVER...  
it has NOT been good.  In fact... it totally sucks.  
("Sad Slug," by Jamie Fales)

I feel like a slug... 
a sad, depressed little (huge) slug... 
AND I have gained 10 pounds this month.

Yes, you read that correctly:  TEN POUNDS!

I'm sleeping restlessly... 
the man in the chair is bugging me... 
and had a HOT FLASH a few minutes ago!

That's when it dawned on me... 
Apparently, my body is NOT READY to FLY... by ITSELF at least.
I hate this feeling. 
 If I didn't know better, I would think I had clinical depression!

I need to find out WHY, 
and IF we 
really NEED need these breaks, 
because I was doing so well...

I'll try again next year... IF EVER... 
or NEVER

Instead of Feeling like a WOMAN... 
 I am feeling kind of sad... Maudlin... meloncholy... self-pitying... sentimental... 
I need to find the nearest Music Millennium ... are they only in Portland?

Instead of singing Shania Twain, I'm humming the dark side of Joni Mitchell...

I think I'll light some candles... relax in the tub... 
and listen to a little Simon and Garfunkel... 


...but first I need to place my Amberen order... if I can summon up enough energy.
I probably missed the 25% sale... oh bother...

Don't call me... I'm taking a nap...


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Here a study, there a study, everywhere a study, study...

Here a study, there a study, everywhere a study, study...   
Too much meat causes colon cancer... not enough, you lose muscle mass... 
Sugar causes cancer, artificial sweeteners cause cancer... preservatives cause cancer!
My mother grew her own vegetables... walked three miles a day...
 got lots of sleep... drank red wine...
still died of colon cancer!
You can find data to support whatever side of whichever debate you are supporting...
But this one intrigues me...   
In a nutshell, they studied 60,000 women for 10 years.
The ones who suffered from "hot flushes" had less incidents of heart issues later on... 
If this is true - HOT DAMN!!
"Hot flashes will never be enjoyable, 
but perhaps these findings will make them more TOLERABLE!"

I'm on my AMBEREN BREAK now... 
expecting my hot flash friends to return any moment.

This is making me HOPE for them!  
Well sort of... 

I did love the SURGE of energy afterwards - 
I would just STRIP and kick into high gear!

Hate the Hot Flash... 
LOVE the POWER SURGE
If they really come with the benefit of less chance of a heart attack, well.... 
BRING 'EM ON BABY!

I've gained a few pounds on this Amberen "break" of mine... 
I've been told I need to drink more WATER.
Wait... does too much water cause cancer? 
'Don't tell anyone but I'm actually full of pineapple juice'
Drinking too much water can be bad for your health...   
They have GOT to be kidding...

Call me...